You may have heard that meditation will help your relationship. Meditation makes you more present, more aware, more curious, more efficient, more available, more resilient, more skillfully communicative, flexible in how you show up and respond, more empathic (aka “nicer to hang with), smarter, more intuitive, less afraid, and more ethical. (For research see here.)

Obviously, any one of those side benefits to meditation would drastically improve your relationship with yourself first, and with your partner second. But, know that when you become a meditator, all of these side benefits will eventually occur.

Easy-to-follow guide to meditating together

Step 1:
If you’re both gung ho, then start together. Otherwise, start meditating yourself. You can always invite your partner to join you.

Step 2:
Assuming you’re both gung ho, then create a space for a conversation for figuring out the details. When, where, for how long? With a teacher, or a teaching, or freewheeling it? You can start with an app like Insight Timer or Headspace.

Write down the details and post them where you will meditate. Add to your calendar as you would any appointment worth keeping.

Step 3:
Show up a few minutes early, ready to rock. You should be stoked to meditate. Your posture should be leaning into what can happen when you sit down, exhale, inhale, and let go of your mind. Set your timer. Go!

Step 4:
When your timer goes off, Stop!
Train yourself to see meditation as a training with a start and a stop. That way you’ll know how long your sessions should be for this phase of your life. Your partner may have a longer or shorter session – don’t worry about it.

Go back to Step 2 once quarter, at your quarterly planning time. Have a conversation about your practices, what is happening, teachings you are working with, update your commitment and your details.